Do you ever get so down you feel like you can’t move?
Or you just want to curl up into a ball and be left alone?

The Facade

A lot of people think I project this incredibly happy and positive persona.

Here’s the secret.

I landed in this space because I had to work through a TON of anxiety and depression issues.
And it doesn’t stop. I still have to work through stuff.

I Have Been There And Still Visit

I have spent entire days in bed.
Crying.
Reading books to lose myself.
Sleeping to get away from my monkey mind.
Anything to make the loneliness go away.

In my not so distant past, I drank entire bottles of vodka to escape the endless anxiety and pain in my heart.

Eventually I stopped staying in bed.
I stopped drinking like a maniac.

But I kept searching for a magic bullet answer.
Buddhism. Tons of self help books. Raw vegan foods. Running. Meditation. EFT. Energy work.

It all helps.

But none of it is THE ANSWER.

The Rub

It’s so annoying and you’re gonna hate me for this.

There is no answer.
There is no simple way.
All of the things I’ve learned only point me to one solution.

STAY OPEN.

Feel the pain. Feel the fear. Feel the anxiety.

Instead of cringing and crying and then cringing and crying at your cringing and crying, do your best to take deep breaths.

This too shall pass.

Yeah, and then a little voice inside says, “It ain’t passin’ soon enough.” LOL
I get it. I truly understand.

I just wanted you to know that I put forth a positive energy because I learned to do that.
I learned to find solutions instead of focusing on problems.
I discovered how to breathe and listen instead of getting defensive and reactive.
On the days when I feel like I don’t want to sit and meditate because there’s not enough money, not enough time and not enough of anything to deal with the chaos?
Those are the days when I know I really need to meditate.

One Word

If I did have to offer an answer it would be one word.

TRUST.

Trust yourself.
Trust your intuition.
Trust your tears instead of hating them.
Trust the Universe.

Trust love.

 

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