How Do You Talk To Yourself?
I'm talking to you.
No, not the person behind you or next to you.
Hey you beautiful person, you.
Did you just have a self deprecating answer in your head when you read that to yourself?
Who is that asshole in your head anyway?
Meet The JerkFaceLoserMeanPooPooHead Voice
It never ceases to amaze me. The other week at a Vixen gig, we were hanging out and I met this woman. In her 20's. Stunning. Simply stunning. Breathtakingly gorgeous. I told her so.
“You're truly beautiful. You must hear that all the time.”
She came back with, “Oh no. I'm too fat. My skin is awful and my hair always looks like I walked in from a joke wig shop.”
Who is that JerkFaceLoserMeanPooPooHead Voice in our heads that repels compliments.
The JFLMPPH Voice that must argue on behalf of our fears and worst versions of ourselves.
That JFLMPPH Voice, my dear friend, has got to go.
The Unwanted Resident
He or she takes up resident the first time you're met with any sort of rejection or let down.
He/She builds up strength when you're not picked for the kickball team in elementary school.
He/She continues to get bigger when you don't have a date for the prom or you lose the school election or (God forbid) you have to get braces on your crooked teeth.)
The JFLMPPH Voice is a constant source of put downs and reasons why you don't deserve success.
But guess what?
You can talk to your JFLMPPH Voice.
Your knee jerk reaction might be to tell the voice to fuck off. To shove it away. Repress it.
Maybe you even put your hands over your ears and sing loudly, “La la la la. I can't hear you Jerk Face!”
You might even want to scream, “Time Out!!!” and just yell at it until it goes away.
Of course, a lot of people get numb. Alcohol, drugs, gambling, fast food. There's a myriad of choices in our society to numb out the voice rather than deal with it.
But the secret, the real key to helping regain control of your self love so you can MakeEpicShitHappen is love.
That's right. Love.
Give the Voice love. Say things like, “I understand you feel hurt and that's okay. I understand you are afraid of more rejection and that's okay.”
The next time your JFLMPPH Voice jumps into your head, imagine yourself giving it a hug and simply hear your Inner Love Voice say, “It's okay. I still love you.”
If you think of yourself as a little innocent baby, would you EVER say the horrid things your JFLMPPH Voice says to you?
I didn't think so.
One other note to consider is the Giver of the compliment.
They want to feel like you heard them.
They want to feel like you accepted the compliment.
You are helping them to feel acknowledged when you simply allow in their love and good intentions!
Yep. You're actually helping the planet with your own acceptance of kindness and compliments.
The next time someone tells you you're beautiful, the most gracious response you can offer up is:
Yes, I'm talking about the voices in your head and no, you're not crazy.
We all hear our own thoughts. It's just how we roll as humans with consciousness.
Love and forgive your JFLMPPH Voice and the next time someone refuses a compliment, just smile at them and in your own mind, in your deepest Inner Love Voice, send them a hug.
Remember, everyone (and I do mean everyone) struggles with this from time to time.
Be gentle to yourself.