How To Stop Worrying
I worried about writing this post. I worried that I would write it and nobody would read it. I worried about finding an uber clever, hipster title like '10 Things Ryan Gosling Worries About' and I worried about whether or not I should write the whole thing and submit it to a big, fancy site like Mind, Body Green.
In the past I've worried about upcoming events. I worried about finishing something on time.
I've worried about being able to write a book by a certain date. (I didn't.)
Then there's the people I love.
WORRYING ABOUT OTHERS
Worry means: You don't trust the ones you love to know how to survive on their own.
Worry means you don't think they'll be able to handle what comes their way.
What happens when you worry?
You imagine the worst possible outcomes for the people you love.
Why the fuck do we do that?
There's some survey somewhere where they asked all these dying people what their regrets were. Guess what? They only regretted not loving more. Not living with more risks. They never said…
‘Oh that thing? Where I took a risk and lost? That time where my heart got broke? I regret that.'
And yet we feel like it's our duty to worry. It's what good moms do. It's what good wives do. Good dads and husbands. It's what good siblings do too. Oh and did I mention good friends?!
Worrying is also useful for distracting yourself from your own life. You can spend hours on the phone with one of your best friends discussing how you're both worried about another friend. thereby deflecting all attention off yourself and your own shit that needs tending and ‘worrying' ie gossiping about your mate's problems.
Worry can be helpful for bonding as well. Want to open up a conversation with any stranger anywhere? Mention to them that they seem worried about something. They'll pour their heart out to you. If there's alcohol involved, plan to sit there listening for at least an hour to this person you just met as they regale the illnesses of their mom, auntie, and long lost cousin who just had heart surgery.
They say we have between 30,000 thoughts per day and 60,000 thoughts per day. Most of which were the same thoughts as the ones we had yesterday. And guess what? A lot of those thoughts are … yes…. wait for it… worry thoughts.
What a surprise, right? I know. Given the chance, you'd think we were born to worry.
But we're not.
We don't trust ourselves or the universe.
We use worry as an excuse to show concern. But try this.
Think of someone you're worried about. They could be ill. They could be struggling financially. They could be falling in love with the wrong person.
Now instead of sitting there worrying and imagining the whole thing getting worse. Visualize an amazing outcome for them. Spend a good minute on that outcome. Now visualize another amazing outcome for them. Maybe in a different area of their lives.
Do you see what you just did? You sent them positive energy! Doesn't that feel better than worrying?
The next time you want to worry about someone because it's your duty to show concern and this is how we've been taught to show we care and love someone, choose to actually send them a loving visualization custom created just for them.
Hmm…. I'm sending incredible visualizations to all my readers. Right now. Yes. That means you.