Stop Dating, Get Married

“Oh hi. My name’s Share. Oh you’re kind of cute. Do you wanna hang out?”

That’s how it starts.

Then it quickly becomes, “Wait. You want me to keep showing up as a full on badass? You mean I have to keep stepping into my full possibilities? Over and over and over again? Ahhh…. wait. Let me think about that.”

STOP dating your Inner Rockstar. 
Start COMMITTING to your Inner Rockstar instead.

Marry your Inner Rockstar once and for all.

We try out new beliefs. See if we like ’em. See if all the fancy lovey dovey promises come through like everyone says in The Secret. Dr Wayne Dyer and all these other amazing leaders.

So you show up HALF ASSED to your own damn party.

First of all, who is your Inner Rockstar?

Your IR is you at your most wondrous and magical.
It’s you stepping into your deepest purpose.
It’s you shining like a fucking diamond, brighter and bolder than you ever thought possible.

Your Inner Rockstar is your inner witness.
Your IR is that piece of you that hears what you think.
That allows you to shift your emotions on a whim.

Your Inner Rockstar is who you need to marry.

Right fucking now.

When you date your IR, this is what happens:

  1. You keep getting a bit of success but not the full on “Oh My God Is This Really Happening” type of success you dream about.
  2. You wonder if you have ‘what it takes’. (You do by the way.)
  3. You compare yourself to shiny bright objects in your field and struggle not to get mad and all jealousy-fueled at them. (jelly, baby.)
  4. You believe in yourself for a while and then get fed up after a week of that and figure “It doesn’t work for me.” It will. It will.
  5. You get some bad news, big bills, a shitty reaction, maybe even you get FIRED and you think… “What the fuck is this?” (See “trust” below.)

Let’s rip those apart one by one.


First of all, who wants a ‘bit of success’? What the hell? Do you ever ask a nine year old “What do you want to be when you grow up?” and they respond… “I’d like to be a little bit successful but I’m willing to settle and compromise and pretty much give up.”

HELL NO! Duh right?

Having a ‘bit of success’ means you’ve settled. You’ve gotten comfortable. You don’t want to rock the boat. It’s a lot like being a shitty marriage but, hey, at least it’s a marriage right? A warm body next to you is better than none right?


Listen up. You’re here to have an impact. And how you show up in every single area of your life is going to be a result of how you do this one thing.

Stop settling for a bit of success. Your life, your business, your dreams, your art, your very essence is crying out for the big ride.
The big adventure.
It’s yours.


Oh that old ploy. That’s the voice of doubt. Usually planted by years of rejections, disappointments, teachers, well-intentioned parents who whisper things like “Honey, just go for second place. That way you won’t be depressed.”

Having what it takes means you worry about being:

  • good enough.
  • old enough.
  • young enough.
  • smart enough.
  • fast enough.

You are enough. Geeeeeez. If your dream feels right within you, then you’re enough. What do I mean? Well, for instance if you’re a 52 year old dude and you’re 5′ 4″ and you tell me your dream is to be the center forward for some big basketball team? I’d have to ask you if that dream honestly-truly-really-1000% sits HONESTLY right within you. Because c’mon… there are some things with physical limitations that your Inner Rockstar knows and sees, too.

So… to summarize. You are enough.


No, wait. You’re MORE than enough. Honey, darlin’, sugar. You’re so loved you don’t even realize it. Step into that love that you carry within you. Enough with enough!!!!!!


Comparing is one of my favorites because it often comes up with my clients who say “I’m doing research of my competition.” Or “I’m checking out what other people have done before me and been successful.”

Yeah. How’d that go?
Usually you go down lots of ‘biz porn’ rabbit holes with promises of riches in a matter of weeks. (Yes, that’s possible but ONLY if you believe it in your core.)

And here’s the thing. THE BIG FAT HAIRY THING GLARING AT YOU……..

If someone else did their thing… their way…. with their words… then THAT HAS BEEN DONE.

And…… (you knew there was an and right?)

And…. you have do things YOUR way.

Do not seek out blueprints, formulas, success systems or anything else. Yes, understand how to sell and package what you’re doing but DO IT YOUR WAY.

As for the ‘jelly’? You know that jealousy shit is gonna kill ya.

There’s ALWAYS enough to go around.


Sometimes you really do commit. You really do change up your shizzle and create new awesome habits that support you and your big dreams.

Then you sit back and wait for the cashola to come steamrolling in.


You gotta keep at it. You gotta LOVE what you’re doing soooooo much that you keep showing up like that.

Time and space crash together in the here and now. (Mathematically proven!) So you gotta keep focusing on the here and now and giving it your all. Give it your best.

Then…. at some point, it will crash together with how you’ve been showing up and you WILL get those amazing-oh-my-god results you dream about.

Consistency, honey. Consistency. Oh yeah. And that P word….. Patience. (Yes, it’s a song title, too.)


You finally commit. You marry your Inner Rockstar. You show up in your life like you really mean it. You are fucking committed from head to toe.

Then your laptop dies. The car has a flat tire. Your boss calls and says you’re fired.

Wait. Wasn’t this all supposed to be smooooooth sailing from here on out?

Nope. Never said nothin’ about smoooooooth sailing.

Two things you gotta do.

  1. Trust. Trust that everything is working out perfectly for you. NO MATTER HOW SHITTY AND HORRIBLE IT SEEMS. To do that, you gotta change your energy and stop focusing on how f’d it is and find something, find ANYTHING to feel really good about. Find the good. Find the appreciation. TRUST.
  2. Then ask yourself, “What is the gift in this obstacle?”

Because… The obstacle is the path.

You are a rockstar.

Marry your Inner Rockstar. Today. Just say “I do” to yourself. Do it now.


  1. Alice

    Love how you worded it! So very true and this article is the kind you save and re-read to re-inspire and re-motivate yourself.

  2. share

    Glad you liked it! Honored that you will bookmark it and come back to re-read it! Yessss! xo