What Is Self Care and Why Do You Need It?
When I first heard the phrase ‘self-care' I immediately thought, “What a load of self-indulgent crap!”
Turns out, I couldn't have been more wrong.
One of my favorite phrases that changed my attitude around self-care is this:
“You can't give to others what you don't give to yourself.”
It's so easy to fall into the trap of pleasing everyone else first and putting yourself last.
In fact, it's admired.
But what happens when you do that?
You get sick.
You are unhappy.
You stop shining and being the beautiful soul you're meant to be.
You lose confidence and can't make simple decisions.
You're unable to give to others because you never put yourself first.
You see the cycle that happens there?
That thinking doesn't work.
Drapes Drapes Drapes
I have this friend. Let's call her Sheila.
Sheila is married with a teenage son she adores.
Sheila works at a job she hates.
As a family, they are loving and they are very, VERY comfortable financially due to both Sheila and her husband's job.
One sunny afternoon, Sheila confessed to me that she secretly dreams about dancing.
I asked her about signing up for a local class.
Her husband overheard me and winked and nodded to say, “Yes, please. Please convince her to do this.”
Sheila gave me a thousand excuses of why she simply couldn't.
– She was too old.
– The distance to drive there and back.
I even sent her a list of classes that were really close to her.
She didn't sign up.
Her biggest excuse?
She was too busy getting their home remodeled.
It came time to choose the drapes for her bedroom.
She had them bring over no less than 10 swatches of fabric.
She shared the images on Facebook.
She solicited opinions from everyone.
She could not decide what she wanted.
It's been 3 months now.
No drapes have been chosen nor has she signed up for a single dancing class.
She put her own dreams last.
I'm not suggesting you sacrifice your family's needs and go off in a caravan to be a gypsy.
Not at all.
But this is a case of:
- The money is there.
- The support is there.
- The dream is easily attainable.
But Sheila refuses to honor herself and her self care in this easy and fun way.
Do you see the connection between non-self-care and her indecision?
By denying herself this one little thing and continuing to sacrifice her dreams even though she has the money and full support of her family to take a dancing class once a week, Sheila lost the ability to make the simplest decision.
She couldn't choose some drapes for their bedroom.
Choosing to remodel their home had become more important than her own self care.
So the paint color? It had to be right.
Don't be a Sheila. Be a Lucy instead.
Practice self care starting today.
The one and only Lucille Ball said,
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”
Here's a short list of ways to practice self care right now.
Start right now.
- If it's not a ‘yes', it's probably a ‘no'. Learn the art of no.
- Stop being a people pleaser.
- Trust your gut.
- Practice positive self talk.
- Say exactly what you mean and mean what you say.
- Get enough sleep.
- Learn from your mistakes and then move on.
- Don't be afraid to say yes!
- Remember to have fun. Every. Single. Day.
- Slow down and be patient with yourself.
- Actually DO something just for you. By yourself.